JoongBo - MV55 - Nunmuldo Mianhaeseo

another MV that means a lot to me ...

Behind every beautiful story, there is pain.
Behind every sad song, there are happy memories.

there's always a story behind every song ... listening to a sad song doesn't mean you're sad ...

be positive and just remember the happy memories behind it ...

JoongBo - MV48 - Back At One

there's a reason why i made this MV ... soon, everyone will know =)

Down Down Down

on JAE BUM ...

okay. this news about JaeBum leaving 2PM, and leaving Korea really saddened me. how cruel can antis be, huh? one can only take enough.

here's the vid of JaeBom leaving Korea ... he was saying Sorry to his fans and when he bowed down, it just broke my heart ...



About the entire story:

Despite apology, fans refuse to forgive 2PM member for four-year-old comments about Korea

Filed under: celebrities, music, technology — extrakorea @ 9:37 am

The Korea Times and Herald have the story of fans who are enraged at a member of boy band 2PM, Jae-beom. Four years ago, when he was still a trainee at JYP Entertainment, waiting to debut, he wrote some negative comments about Korea on his MySpace page. (You can see screen captures of them here.) He apologized profusely, in a way that bordered on grovelling, but that’s not good enough for some fans. As a result, the promotional activities of 2PM have been put on hold for an unknown amount of time. However, Park Jin-young (JYP) has said that neither he, nor the other members of 2PM, want to kick him out of the group.
Personally, I can understand how he could have felt culture-shocked and upset. He was, at that time, an 18-year-old kid, in Korea for the first time and all alone, since his family was still in America, where he was born and had grown up. While his comments from four years ago are definitely childish and show very poor judgment, it’s clear from his apology that in the years since he’s become much more mature and articulate.

source: http://extrakorea.wordpress.com/2009/09/07/despite-apology-fans-refuse-to-forgive-2pm-member-for-four-year-old-comments/

JaeBum actually already gave his apologies on Sep 5 ... but i guess some crazies didnt understand what an 18 yr old was feeling that time -- an 18-yr old guy who grew up in Seattle, he went to Korea for training, leaving his mom and sibling in US, undergoing such trainings w/out even knowing what's really up for him ... he was just depressed that time, and yeah, he was alone -- found some cure thru leaving messages in his myspace w/c he doesnt really meant.

Hello everyone this is 2PM’s Park Jaebum. I would like to apologize on behalf of the comments I had made through Myspace a few years ago. I’m sorry.

As I tell all of you about how I felt that time, I also would like to apologize. In January of 2005, I came to Korea as a high school student. I was born in the States and I had insufficient knowledge of how Korea is. Being it my first time, I couldn’t communicate with others, my taste buds didn’t fit, and I barely knew the culture which I couldn’t understand. I felt as though I was treated coldly by the people around me as my family was left in the States. It was such a difficult situation where I didn’t even know if I was going to debut. Due to many hardships, things were getting too hard and I was getting lonely being homesick. I had the thoughts of quitting and I wanted to go back to my family in the States. The comment based on the Korea part: I wrote that because of my personal situation I was placed in and my emotions took over. I was too young and said things in the wrong words. I was too foolish, young, and facing difficulties where I made the mistake into turning my surroundings worse. Time passed by and I forgot that I had even written them. I am now embarrassed and truly sorry of those comments I had made. After that time, I had adjusted to everything and my thoughts have changed tremendously as I thank the people around me to get me to perform on stage in any situation. Those comments were made four years ago, but I am a different person now. To my family, Hottests, members of 2PM, and those who love 2PM, I am truly sorry. From now on, I hope that there will be no mistakes like this ever again. I will say it one more time that I am truly sorry.

-2PM’s Jaebum-

source: http://sarangkpop.wordpress.com/2009/09/05/2pm-jaebeom-apologizes/

oh well, atleast he is now with his mom in Seattle. if there's anyone he needs, it's being with his mom.

hope this issue will soon die down coz i wanna see JAY again. i became a fan becoz of the 4 shows i've seen him with Hwang Bo. i like him best in Nodaji.

---

on KIM HYUN JOONG ...

and then, here's come KHJ down with H1N1 in Japan. and guess what, he might be quarantined for 15-20 days. okay, the positive side is he'll get enough rest that he needs, the sad thing is he'll be in Japan - alone in the hospital, far from his Buin.

hopefully he can recover soon just like how my fave Japanese stars Yamap & Ryo recovered just last week.

---

on HWANG BO ...

i am actually more concerned about her. she's close to both -- Jay being her co-star in Nodaji and of course, HJ is her Shillang.

around midnight, Hwang Bo updated her cyworld. she even updated her diary ...

"Please leave me a message of cheer~
Press (02)141
PO Box 816-0816"
(credit kairu@soompi for the translations)

(02)141 = (02)(1+4+1) = (02)(06) = (06)(06) => KHJ's bday
816-0816 = 0816 = Hwang Bo's bday

well, not just that, she also uploaded this picture on her cyworld:

and if you're a JoongBoer, you'll get what this picture means ... HB looking at the SKULL. we all know who's fond of skulls, right? in case you didn't know, he's currently in Japan, down with H1N1.

if there's one thing, HB CARES for him. how i wish i can send her a plane ticket to Japan to cheer her up.

-----

KHJ wore skull ring in Malaysia, and seems like HB too wore a skull ring in her recent performance: http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/1586/33679804.jpg

Exclusive SS501 Pics in Malaysia Fanmeet [20090903]

***** EXCLUSIVE SS501 PICS in MALAYSIA *****

*wink* thanks to my dearest friend's dear source *wink*

-- click on the pics to view the original size --

i wish they'll come to the Philippines too!
credit all photos to mixhybrid and a very reliable source ;)

missing joongbo...random post.....

michsann, i love the new blog! this totally brings me back to the good 'ol days...spazz 'til we drop!

haptic cm, joongbo version...

"naughty" boy's reaction to the sekshiii Arisong goddess...



then he realizes everyone feels the same......hahaha. ...



ah, behave shillang or i'll send someone your way...lol...



*credit as tagged/HJ soompi thread/HB mh/imur100*

SS501 in Malaysia Fanmeet [20090903]

***** EXCLUSIVE SS501 PICS in MALAYSIA *****

*wink* thanks to my dearest friend's dear source *wink*

-- please do not repost the pics elsewhere --
-- click on the pics to view the original size --

i love mixhybrid!!!


***** CSI CORNER *****

okay, i've been spazzing about the similarity in their bracelets for almost a week now ...
i kinda believe they have this in diff shapes, sizes and layer count hahahaha ...

a) HB in R2songMV
b) HJ in China Fanmeet
c) HB in 1 vs 100
d) HJ in Malaysia FanMeet

do you miss the SKELETAL BOY? haha.
i can see a SKULL in his shirt & a SKULL in his ring!

and allow me to quote sammikoo@soompi:
"i'm not sure whether it's the same tradition in Korea,
usually men wear important accessories on left hand while women wear on right hand,
which makes up a pair.
and see in the pix,
hyunjoongie wore it on left wrist and hwang buin wore it on right wrist,
they are in a pair:)"

i think they really love to wear SIMILAR bracelets ...
here's another one from IG 98 & HJ's pictorial for their album ...

JoongBo R2Song MV

I LOVE THIS!!!!

Most Popular MV -- LION HEART

our LION HEART entry won the Most Popular MV! yehey!

for more info, visit: http://allseouldout.blogspot.com/2009/08/omo.html

HOT Hwangbo R2song Mnet Live

She's HOT!!!

credit snowyheaven at youtube.

a fan ficlet?

after all the HJ bashing over the net becoz of the HK incident ...

naawa din si hb kay hj...

HJ:.. oy tulungan mo naman ako o..
alam naman nila na tayo d ba? i announce na natin para mawala na ang doubts sa kin..

HB:.. bahala ka jan.. busy ako dito... e pinahanginan mo pa kasi kili kili mo e..
o di nahuli ka ng camera ng paparrazzi...
kung gusto mo talagang magpahangin ng kili kili, sana nag ahit ka na lang!!!

HJ: sige na.. nagpatulong lang naman akong mamili ng gift ko para sa yo e..
kilala mo naman yung mga kasama ko ah.. nagpaalam pa ko sa yo...

HB: o ngayon kung alam kong mga dancers nyo yung kasama mo...

HJ: sige na please.... pe pedicure uli kita.. yung nail polish nga lang binili ko dun sa hongkong e...

HB: o sya sya... hintay ka...

HJ: aamin na tayo?

HB: tadu... sa kanta na lang kita isasalba...

* written by LECHUGAS dahil malakas sya mag-trip ;)

((english translations to follow))

I'LL SPREAD RUMOURS

I'LL SPREAD RUMOURS
a JoongBo fan fic by Lechugas

~~~~~~~~~~


Hyun Joong opened his eyes somewhat grateful that he had a good rest. He looked at his hand phone to see if there were any messages. Seeing that there were none, he turned his notebook on, which has been his constant companion since his travels took away time spent with his family. His cell phone and his laptop are the two most important things in his life; they connected him to his family and friends, messages he received from them were mostly reminders to take care of himself and almost everyone wanted him to slow down...


Reading his schedule book that has been sitting on his bed side table, he is reminded not to be late for his flight, he was grateful for all the work that came his way making him one of the most sought after celebrities.


He did not mind that he was in never ending photo shoots, dramas, commercials, filming movies, or even concerts. To anyone out there he was living a dream life of being young and successful. Everyone knows he was on top of his game.


At the age of twenty seven he stood on top of the world, but to his friends they did not comprehend why Hyun Joong was so hell bent on working day in and day out, rest is unknown and sleep was a stranger to him. He never looked so determined more than now.


Getting up, he started to get ready for his flight only to realize that he woke up to an unfamiliar room.
Again and again he finds himself in such a place. Thanks to his hectic and almost chaotic schedule
he was either boarding a plane, getting into a car or being chauffeured in a limousine.


'I cannot even recall how my room looks like.' Hyun Joong thought as he looked at his schedule somewhat frowning, 'Another trip, just what I needed.' Hyun Joong sighed, half hearted even in his sarcasm. Almost mechanically, he got up to get ready to leave; showered, changed and onto a chauffeured car to be driven to another new location, it did not even strike him as exciting. Capri, Italy

~~~~~~~~~~

With the success of her clothing line, Stellar, Hwang Bo could not believe how well her brand was being
accepted. Her thoughts, ideas, and her creations are now well received by the fashion world.


She continues her charity work and has been awarded many times for her tremendous contributions to
charitable institutions. A UNICEF National Ambassador of Goodwill, a renowned photographer, a fashion
designer, and a singer and a television host. These words would now follow her name in every introduction.


Hwang Bo scouted around for the next pictorial, she wanted to do the next shot in full length because it worked well. She is known for capturing great photographs, even if fashion calls for the focus on clothes, the balance of power between the beauty of clothes and the place shifts from time to time.



Nevertheless she is one who has mastered the marriage of clothes and nature as its backdrop. She always marveled at how magical or probably ethereal the place is with nature and its perfection.


She finally settled in a spectacular pergola path overlooking the entire Bay of Naples. Hwang Bo was so entranced she didn't notice, her assistant coming from behind her, "OMO, leche, you scared me...!"


"This path leads to Sphinx Parapet, where an ancient Egyptian sphinx sits and looks out over to Sorrento. It's said that if you touch the sphinx's hind with your left hand while making a wish, it will come true." Leche was so proud of her knowledge of the place. "Was that all you can google about this villa? Hwangbo suddenly put the floating Leche down. "Who told you i was interested in wishes?'


'Is it better than 1000 paper cranes? Those don't work.' She muttered to herself somehow annoyed that she still thinks about it. Hwang Bo just looked at Leche pretending not to care, but she made a mental note to touch the sphinx's hind before she leaves the place.


After the prepping of the utility crew, Hwang Bo started clicking away as she moves like clockwork, oblivious
of everyone around her. She was so focused into her work she was finished with the photo shoot in no time and is now ready to call it a day.



The crew was putting everything away before they head for the villa. while waiting, Hwang Bo walked near the cliff over looking the sea, she was once again lost in the beauty of Capri, Italy.


~~~~~~~~~~

The pictorial was designed in sensual spontaneous light while creating a physical and dangerous environment.
It was the second day of the photo shoot and Hyun Joong wanted to hasten its pace to get to his next assignment. Mika, his assistant, has already put on the bronzer all over his chest and back, it was windy that she has to use her hands to avoid the dusty powder from getting to their eyes.


Hyun Joong was getting ready for the last shot of the day. The director wanted to capture the sunset so he had this shot done last. He was supposed to hold on to the rocky surface of the cliff while standing half naked with only his denim pants on. The photo shoots he had done earlier were not as physically taxing.


"Crazy photographer, he should have made me do this first.' Hyun Joong mumbled as he was now getting ready to get a hold of the rock,
Perched onto the rocky surface, his muscles were more defined now, a trace of his boyish charms still present but now, there was an added aura of command and manliness. He has always done every single shot with ease and today was no exception.


Hyun Joong exuded confidence, his every move was done with certainty and defined with much ease..
Everyone was satisfied with the day's work as Hyun Joong was buttoning the last button on his shirt, he was already thinking of ways to while away the time.. he is somehow pissed that they finished early and he is not that exhausted and it means there will be a lot of empty hours.. and it would give him the space to think of her again. The crew was ready to
go back to the villa, but not him. Dusk was here and already known faces become unfamiliar with the trickled motion of light disappearing.



He was about to motion his driver to come when he saw a silhouette of a woman too close to the edge of the ridge. In one swift dash, he was holding onto her preventing her from falling, or so he thought. Still holding her, he saw the shoulder high wire railings as he realized his mistake.



"OMO!! Leche!!!" Hwang Bo shouted thinking it was her assistant who had attacked her. She was startled by the sudden disruption of her quiet moment but it was nothing compared to the shock she got when she saw who gave her the fright.



‘Hyun Joong-ah!’ The voice was shaking it almost didn't want to leave her throat. For the first time, after a long while, Hyun Joong felt his heart full, almost bursting with unknown emotions suddenly rushing into him.. He welcomed them knowing it was only her who can make him feel like this..


"It sounded so good hearing her calling my name." He thought to himself., almost spacing out again because of the unexpectedness of what had happened."Aaaah, what are you thinking Hyun Joong."


As thoughts came simultaneously, he wanted to kick himself for being such a fool and not seeing the safety wire. He has practiced a lot of scenes if and when they would see each other, but now that the awaited chance has come, he just had to have a blooper. Clearing his throat determined to cover any booboo he made earlier, he opens his mouth to talk.

"Aaah... you are here?" He said in a clear, almost dignified manner. Hyun Joong was now agonizing. He instantly blames his own mouth for choosing to be stupid at that particular time.


"Shouldn't I be?" Hwang Bo smiled looking at him. Behind the uneasy smile, she feels an outburst of emotions as questions rushed to her head, overwhelming feelings to her heart and realizing that her face showed the opposite... of a calm and collected facade.


"Of course not, it was just unexpected. I always knew i will see you again but I never thought that it would be today." His voice sounded cool, he thought but his heart was beating so loudly, he never heard a word he said.

Hyun Joong was more in control of himself now, "It's been a while, I didn't know Seoul is too big that we never bump into each other and the world is too small that I have a chance to stumble upon you here in Italy,. Aren't
we supposed to meet up in London?" looking at Hwang Bo as he waited for a good reaction from her. 'Just a smile', he thought.


Hyun Joong's words continued as he was trying to tell Hwang Bo how he was feeling so ecstatic to see her and trying to tell her everything that transpired since they last saw each other four years ago. Then, he abruptly stopped.
"I was so excited to see you; I forgot to ask how you are."
He was still uncertain as he cannot read what was on her mind, if she is happy with his sudden appearance in front of her, her face did not reveal.

Hwang Bo was amazed at the transformation of the man in front of her right now.
He has changed, he looks manlier, his words were more mature. Just as Hwang Bo was about to answer, a dragonfly landed on his shoulder. Upon seeing this, Hwang Bo was waiting for a frantic Hyun Joong to squeal again, just like he did on the farm.

Hyun Joong saw the dragonfly and ignored it, he continued to talk, and the insect left without any squeals being heard. 'Oh, he is not afraid of dragonflies anymore,' She thought to herself.

"I'm ssory I have to leave you for a while I have to take this call." Hyun Joong said while waving his hand phone.
Hyun Joong stood behind a big tree and peeked to see if he is out of Hwang Bo's sight. There was no phone call.
As soon as he was sure that the coast was clear, Hyun Joong began jumping up and down, almost squirming, and grazing his hands all over his shoulders.

He was trying to erase the icky feeling he gets every time he sees a dragonfly.
When his goose bumps settled, he regained his composure and walked back to where Hwang Bo was as if nothing happened.


~~~~~~~~~~


Hwang Bo looked intently at Hyunjoong as he approached her. It was pretty obvious he has a different degree of fortitude present. His gait is that of a statesman ready to give a powerful speech in congress.

"He really has changed. He is more confident now" she thought again.
She had to tell herself to stop smiling like crazy as Hyun Joong is almost beside her now. He might notice.

Facing Hwang Bo, Hyun Joong started the conversation again,... as he did, he will always search for her eyes and gaze...

Hwang Bo welcomed the gaze like a warm blanket enveloping her in the cold young night. She felt how the waves of emotions came rushing back again. She looked into his eyes, only to be successful for about a few seconds, and immediately she would look down. Hwang Bo tried to get hold of her self. Again, she is moved by this man... she could almost see herself drowning in his stare...


The conversation became free and easy. He was telling her he was there for a photo shoot that will last for four days.
Hwang Bo was gushing at Hyun Joong's every word. It took them less than an hour to be comfortable with one another.
As if every year unknown was erased every ten minutes. It was a pleasant feeling, to be apart for four years, but still be connected in this kind of way. As if there were no years that separated them in between.

Hyun joong made the conversation between them an avenue to know more about Hwang Bo.

it has been years when they last saw each other and he was cramming to know more about her. She was more than smiling when Hyun Joong initiated a word game. She was welcoming it, as she feels the familiar atmosphere only he can give her.

Remember how we enjoy playing our games? Hwangbo nodded while reminiscing...

"Rock scissors paper to know who pays for dinner? Hyun Joong smiled a triumphant smile feeling proud of himself how subtle his dinner invitation was.


Still smiling, Hwangbo shook her head..

'I have a previous appointment, but i still have 30 minutes to spare before i head back to our place.'


Oh... a little sad that his sly invitation was not accepted. "Do you still know me? know what my answers will be?" She could only answer with a questioning look before he began...

It began with simple words..

white or black.. black

singing or acting... singing

Europe or Asia… London

pork or beef.. beef

japanese rice crackers or peppero... peppero

eyes or lips.. lips

short or long.. long

touch or sight ... touch..

They would alternate in answering...and then Hyun joong said,

kiss or hug.. hug,...

Hwang Bo answered amused at how their small word game was turning into. At the sound of the word hug, Hyun Joong wanted to put her in his arms but controlled himself, he then turned to her and asked..

lights on or lights off?

Hwang Bo almost rolled on the grass as they walk towards the villa she had her hands to her mouth as she was laughing so hard, she had tears in her eyes.

Hyun Joong was delighted knowing that he can still make her laugh like this. He was a little disappointed though for he failed to have dinner with her because of Hwang Bo's previous appointment with her clients.

Although a little sad that she had to cut short their meeting Hwang Bo smiled as she waved him goodbye.

Her smile has always made him happier. The sound of her laughter was always a treasured music to his ear. Singing on his way to the car, Hyun joong was definitely in high spirits as he was already planning for the next day ahead. The air was filled with promise.


~~~~~~~~~~

It was nippy outside at early dawn but a wide awake Hwang Bo snuggled so warmly on her bed, thankful for the pillows that kept her company, Her face still blushing, not with the glow of the dying embers of the fireplace but because of the warmth the chance meeting has given her.

"I want to be Hwang Buin's puppy" .. a familiar sentence...
funny how she has watched this for so many times,.. but it still instantly made her feel the way she felt when Hyun Joong first told the classic line in the blackroom interview.

While Hwang Bo's eyes were fixed on the monitor of her laptop, her thoughts seem far..

She wanted to review the business proposals that the Japanese company has forwarded her but somehow her fingers trailed to go and click the stored clips,

She was contented with just the memories the experience has given her, he has given her laughter and happiness in that short period of time. 'He is special to me , yes... but i will never allow myself to be a burden to him'... the happiness she felt upon seeing him again cut short when the feeling of burden just to be with him resurfaced.

Am I scared? What is this? I have gone through so much to be fazed by this. Nothing should faze me anymore.
I am strong and I can handle this, almost trying to hypnotize herself. Visibly annoyed, her nose crinkled at the flash of painful memories that began flooding her.


She has pursued this career on clothes not only because she has passion for fashion but also because the fans have been hounding her, unforgiving, despite the time that has passed. She had to prove herself out of the country before she was accepted in her own. As if weighing things, flashbacks were rapidly haunting her, the attacks she had to endure, name calling thrown not only to her but also her immediate family, too many pages of harsh words posted on her mini homepage by overzealous fans, the struggles she had to do in another field, putting her singing career on hold, and the most difficult of all, giving up the very person that she wanted to be with for the rest of her life.


How much her heart aches like it was sliced into thousands of pieces... but she had to make the sacrifice for her family to have a more quiet life, and for Hyun Joong to have the dreams that he always had. Seeing him today, there was something in him, an adequate degree of certainty, confirmed that she did the right decision of letting him go.
She wanted him to shine on his own and to be free...She wanted him to soar.. and he did ... it shows, how the separation has made him a better man..


~~~~~~~~~~


Hyun Joong was floating when he went out to look for Hwang Bo. The night before was like a dream, he has denied himself too much, worked away till his body was numb and now the gods have rewarded him. Seeing her feels like being alive again..


Hyun Joong arrived at the site while Hwang Bo was so busy , she did not even notice Hyun joong standing by the Sphinx.

He witnessed how she is so efficient with her work, fluid, and flawless in her motion, precise and is so in control, he can see her totally in command. 'She is not General Hwang Bo for nothing. I should have known, she will always be a step, maybe a hundred steps before me.'


Somehow insecurity crept in, despite his stature, he began being unsure and started questioning himself again. 'Is he capable of being with her? Or would she be better off without him.' "I don't rely on men.," he has heard her say and seeing Hwang Bo so capable made him feel so inadequate.


How can she rely on me? This is the very point that drove him to work like mad, determined to make it so Hwang Bo can rely on him that she can present him in front of her friends and specially her parents; so she can be proud of him.


To be the man for her. Do I really have what it takes to make her feel the utmost happiness? It has always been a question to him.
Is he the man capable to give her the most? Hyun Joong is torn, he wanted to shy away, but he wanted to hold on.

~~~~~~~~~~

Despite apprehensions, fears and uncertainties in their hearts, they would hasten every photo shoot they have, to meet up in the evening. Maybe the anonymity they have in the place made them unmindful of the things to come or perhaps they missed each other so much they were willing to take the risk.


Hwang Bo has never been happier and Hyun Joong has noticed how she was glowing. Aaahhh, she really is at her prettiest whenever she's beside me, laughing to himself, proud of seeing the effect he has on Hwang Bo at the same time hesitant.


'Am I doing this for me or for her? Should I be selfish again? Why must it be so agonizing?
Haaaaah.' Hyun Joong sighed brushing aside the feeling. Despite the harmony, a discordant note kept creeping in.


Hyun Joong has finished his work for four days and he had told her earlier that he planned to extend his stay so he could have a longer time with her. Despite the hour long protest from his manager, Hyun Joong prevailed..


~~~~~~~~~~~

The chilly wind was making her shiver, as Hyun Joong grabbed her into a tight embrace..
It was a welcome warmth that she needed. He was holding her so tight that their bodies welded together, she cannot even sense where his begins and hers ends. And for that moment, she knew, this is where she should be, with him.


He was extra sweet that night, he held her hands while they walked and even offered a piggyback ride to which she laughed off, he would caress her hair, brush her cheeks with his hand. He was very attentive, his eyes were only meant for her, she felt like a queen and he was hugging her as if there was no tomorrow.


She was filled with the overflowing emotions, she didn't notice Hyun Joong's face was traced with sadness. He held her face in his right hand while his left hand never let go of her waist as he looked lovingly into her eyes.

"I only have one wish for you, to have what you deserve most".

The words he said reassured Hwang Bo, from that moment on, she decided not to ever doubt his sincerity.
His face drew near to give her a gentle kiss on the lips. and the kiss became more passionate, hungry, as if trying to fill in the years they were not together. Hyun Joong was too giving , her lips were more than welcoming.




Hwang Bo led Hyun Joong to the living room, but Hyun Joong's eyes were fixed to the bedroom door.
As his eyes followed Hwang Bo who has decided to take a shower, he wanted to go to her but he was hesitating, afraid that his action will be rejected. But he was more than ready to make the bold move to go in and be with her and he was thinking,


"Ahhh this is harder than I thought." As Hyun Joong looked down, trying to restrain himself, but to no avail.
He followed her to the bathroom and heard the shower running. "It's now or never," he mumbled as he took off all his clothes and knocked on the bathroom door in his glorious nakedness.

'Hye Jung,' Hyun Joong's voice was soft. "Oh?," Hwang Bo called out.

He was already looking down on her when he answered, 'I'm coming in.' Hwang Bo looked up with eyes wide open. For a few seconds, she was speechless. Then, her arms reached out for Hyun Joong and she whispered, "Come here."


Hyun Joong held her face and said 'You're beautiful. I love you.' She tilted her head to answer but her lips was captured by his mouth. Her arms moved around him and pressed her lips to his neck and she murmured,

Take me.

Hyun Joong groaned as he drew her closer, he can feel her whole being pressed against his, his fingers tingling at the touch of her bare skin, yearning to memorize her in every stroke. They kissed passionately under the running hot shower.


The sound of the rush of water onto their bodies, muffled their pleasured cries as their bodies interlocked. Hyun Joong shuddered realizing he had come to the very depths of his desire... to be one with Hwang Bo.


~~~~~~~~~~

The place, Casa Ysabel, is undoubtedly unique and somehow it is where dreams become reality.
Perhaps, it was just a mad nightmare springing from a longing or an attempt to deal
with his feelings of powerlessness. Was it melancholy, an aesthetic madness or maybe more a grown boy’s desire for love?


Did they write this for me? Hyun Joong read the brochure on the lobby's armchair while waiting for his ride. They must be smart, knowing I will be here. Hyun Joong was hurting. He has gathered all his strength to leave the villa,
mustered all his will to leave Hwang Bo.


He has decided that despite his attempt to make himself fitting for Hwang Bo, he is still lacking and will never be good enough for her. Every word gives out a gnawing pain, just like every step out of that place leaves him aching.


After giving instructions to the crew Hwang Bo went ahead. She was in a rush to go to the next appointment with her clients as Stellar was gaining popularity in the European market. No one in the meeting has noticed how torn apart she was inside.


She has always learned to be in control as she gave a glimpse of a smile after the meeting. The numerous trials and sacrifice she has overcome have made her stronger. Not even the superlatives the client has given her work lifted her up although she was still showing her calm facade...


The feeling of elation from last night was now substituted by numerous questions on her head. She didn't know if she's hurting because of her throbbing migraine or her heavy heart.

I should have known, his actions were telling me he was saying goodbye. How can I miss that?

She was looking forward to have breakfast with him that morning but Hyun Joong was gone. There was no call, just a text message saying he is on his way back to Korea. It was infuriating to say the least, that man is a walking irony, he can give me the highest of joys and cast me the most hurtful of pains.


'Did I really expose myself to be hurt by him again? Did I have to see him again just to prove the very point I have told myself
before i turned my back on him? Is it just a dream ? Was i just a baggage waiting for the time to be thrown out and be forgotten along the way? This, I want to know.'


She had so many unanswered questions and no one to give her a clue. It was different when she left him, it was because of other people, because of his fans... But now, he was the one who decided, who permitted it. She cannot get over the fact that he chose to make her cry. Hwang Bo covered herself in a blanket crying her self to sleep.


~~~~~~~~~~


They have come together after more than a year of being away. They were so busy such get-togethers came few and far in between. The private room on top of their favorite bar is cozy and dimly lit with soft music completing its toned down, sullen mood.


Hyun Joong was uneasy as Jae Joong pours him a drink. He didn't want to discuss things with them. All he wanted to do was drown himself in all the alcohol he can get hoping to wash off all the pain.


It was no secret to Jae Joong how Hyun Joong is hurting and he has an idea who is causing it. Everyone was keen on waking Hyun joong up in his deep slumber. They have watched how he had let himself go.

He suggests he sees other girls to have fun, it has been years since Hyun Joong is so deep into his work, it bothers him so much.

His friend always had fun every time he makes time. They would just get together and play some music, collaborating and exchanging views or simply pig out and laze around. A very far cry from what Hyun Joong is now. Somehow he just submerged himself in work, going through the motions as if he was never present.

Jae Joong insisted that Hyun Joong meet with his girlfriend’s cousin and was describing her to him.. she's the same age as you and cute too, you like cute girls don't you?


Hyun Joong either didn't hear Jae Joong or he chose to ignore him, his thoughts conquered by only one woman.


'Wouldn't it be nice if we get together the four of us ? You need someone to make you laugh, you have forgotten how to smile.'


Someone to make me laugh? I have found that someone and she doesn't need me, sinking into his seat at the thought. I lost her not once, but twice all because of my stupidity. He regretted having to leave her in Italy and how much he is willing to do, just to have her back into his life again.


'When you have acknowledged someone as a gift from God and you let her out of your life, what does that make you?' The desperation he had to have her back was suffocating, he was almost gasping for air.


'I am worried about you, we are, just give it a try and then We'll stop nagging you about it.' Jae Joong became uneasy, he cannot figure what Hyun Joong's expression was.


Was it the dim place that made Hyun Joong gloomy or was it his gloom that made the place dim? Micky was looking intently at his friend's somber expression , almost anticipating for fangs to grow out.

Top was more serious with his statements; maybe it was the alcohol that made him speak like that or possibly the sad state of his friend he cannot take anymore.

'Do you really have to live like this? You don't need someone like her. There are so many who would love to make you feel better, to be in her place, you just have to allow them..

Is she that special? to make you miserable? How much power does she have over your life? Your actions are just telling us that you are allowing yourself to be ruled by someone who doesn't care a bit about you!'


That does it!! Hyun Joong was fuming. You!!! have no idea who she is!!! so don't ever preach me with your ignorance!! You can't talk about her that way!!! You bastard!!! Hyun Joong snarled, his emotions overpowering him, unaware he was clenching his fist.

Jae joong was taken aback and Micky was so startled that they were motionless for a few seconds. Top was shocked at Hyun Joong’s reaction. Did his words push him too far? And then a wave of silence enveloped the private room they were in..

You never saw how she is with me? You never saw how I changed because of her? You never saw how I became a better man
all because of her? his voice almost breaking into a cry. How I beam at the sight of her? How she has filled me with the beauty
of her heart? And don’t tell me you cannot see how lost I am without her!!! Because I am!!!

Hyun Joong was breathing heavily as he now realized how fiercely he has reacted... after a few more breaths, he cleared his throat
and said, 'That is one dialogue I have to do for my drama tomorrow, it's so mushy isn't it?' As he tried to erase the palpable tension
he has caused...

The group laughed almost tentatively at his remark. Seeing that he was the same playful Hyun Joong again, they went back to drinking as Hyun Joong was telling himself, 'Ahhh, how I wish it was just a mushy drama dialogue', silently praying that they wouldn't notice...


~~~~~~~~~~~

Hwang Bo was in and out of the porch of her house overlooking the sea, she was still numb from the pain Hyun Joong has inflicted on her. She had been through such turmoil and she felt that what's left inside her is not enough to make her breathe to be alive....
She pondered at times, did he really want me in his life?


Daily, Hyun Joong was constantly trying to contact her after that fateful day but she chose to ignore his calls. She decided to buy a new phone to prevent her from answering him. It was the best she could do to keep him from hurting her again.

As far as she is concerned, it’s over. To her, what happened between them was just a passing fancy. Like fireworks, it was spectacular yet fleeting, dazzling but gone in a flash. But why does her heart still ache for that man,... as if it only knew his name?.

Deep in thought, Hwang Bo was looking at the waves hitting the shores, its repetitive motion hypnotizing her until all she sees was
a blur. Micky was just on the phone asking her to give Hyun Joong a chance to prove himself, he was so bothered at the sight of his bestfriend slowly being eaten up by despair. He was almost pleading as he narrated the incident the night before.


Calls from her closest friends came one at a time, they were too concerned as they were witnesses to what happened to her after We Got Married, how the fans have hounded her and made her sacrifice her own happiness. And now that her close friends knew about their meeting in Italy, they urged her to get out of her house more often as if her pain would be erased so easily. Startled, she sprung onto her feet as she heard a knock on the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~

After a visit to his mother, Hyun Joong was on his way to his manager's home to study and finalize the contract for his next film project.

His mother was always pointing out to him how to slow down with his work and enjoy the things around him. ‘She worries too much. If only they know i would be weaker if every minute of my waking hours would make me think of the stupid things i have done to her.'

His mom has asked him that morning in their kitchen while serving him a hot bowl of molo soup a recipe Mika has given her.

"What is it that you like most?" She has advised he should strive not to have more but persevere to be happier, after all it was what everyone's goal is, to be happy. Working hard is different from doing well, her mother has echoed the very words his Boys Over Flowers director had told him on the beginning of their shoot.

"And doing well is being happy where you are.. Can you look at me straight in the eye and tell me that you are happy?" His mom's soothing voice has always made him calmer.

Hyun Joong avoided his mother's gaze as he cannot answer her directly. He knows he has messed up. He lost the very person that
meant so much to him and how he hated himself for leaving her after they shared the best time he has ever had in his life.

"She wants me, those days in Italy proved that. I felt that." He can still smell the fragrance of her hair as if she was still in her arms..
His knees weaken every time he is reminded of the night they have shared together.

"Looking at you and seeing your accomplishments, you have made me proud to be your mother. You are the best compliment I have.
All I want for you now is to define what you want and go for her", his mother smiled knowingly. Hyun joong was dazed as if he heard nothing of what his mother had said.

'YA! if you don't act now, I will make sure that I will look for someone to match her.' Hyun joong's mom's voice was suddenly louder, 'I might even ask your brother to go after her! If you don't bring my daughter in law here, then you'll be my biggest disappointment!'

Although startled at the sudden outburst of his mother, he knew long before how his mother adores Hwang Bo. He would sometimes come home finding his two favorite women in the kitchen cooking for him... before. 'Before,.. before i screwed up... I couldn't even protect her then... and now the one she thought would shield her from harm is the very person who made her miserable...'


Finding the urgency to leave, not to show his mother how he was feeling like hell, he hurriedly said goodbye aiming to go to his manager's house to have the movie contracts signed. Go for her, echoing his mother's words, he suddenly had a dialogue with himself, Did she say go for her? you know how i want to. you know how determined i can be. But what if she doesn't want me anymore?

Will i risk losing the chance of being with her just because i am afraid? Am I still Hyun Joong who has time and again said i do things with brute determination?

As Hyun Joong maneuvered the car towards the opposite direction, he was half anxious and half excited, "If only I can make this car fly."
Driving while one hand is on the phone, he asks his manager for Hwang Bo's home address...


~~~~~~~~~~


“So this is where she chose to live, on the beachfront. She probably wants to be reminded of me. Hyun Joong laughs at himself for being so cocky. 'Haaaah' his voice sounded like he was tuning it again, though this time he was just trying to calm his tense nerves. 'How can I call that cocky, that's confidence. She did say she sees me as a man'.


But that was before, before the foolish act I did in Capri, Hyun Joong muttered to himself as he tried to ease his nervousness.
He was in front of her door, a part of him wanting to run for he didn’t know how to face her after what he did, a part of him yearning for the door to open to see her after the days he had constantly missed her.


Hyun Joong peeped through the glass door eagerly waiting for someone to let him in, only to see Hwang Bo hugging another guy, he was too late, she was hugging him so tightly. She must be in love, agonizing that she has forgotten him in such a short time.


Is this anger he felt? He can feel himself panic as he witnessed her being taken away by another man. 'She's not even mine.
Why must I be enraged when all that I have given her was pain and sadness?' Hyun joong cannot even bear the sight, he hurriedly turned to go back to his car only to nudge the terracotta pot that was beside the slate columns by the door.


Craaaash!... he thought that his heart was in so much pain he can hear it break. His eyes were full of tears, bits and pieces of the pot were on the floor, the door was wide open and he looked up to see Kyu Rok.

~~~~~~~~~

Kyu Rok has accompanied Baek Bo Ram to Hwang Bo’s place and as she let them inside her place, she cannot help but wonder why her friends opted to dress identically that day, the same outfit she had on for their Infinity Girl taping.


Bo ram looked different, her hair disheveled, a far cry from her long tresses she had this morning when they taped for Infinity Girls.
I told them I wanted the hairstyle of Jeon Ji Hyun…And the hairdresser thought I wanted the hair of Joo Ji Hun. Bo ram said almost wailing at the unfortunate misunderstanding, her hair almost identical as Kyu Rok's.

"You should have told them, Jeun Ji Hyun the woman, not Joo Ji Hun the man." Hwang Bo hugged her friend tightly in order to conceal her smile, she wanted to burst out with laughter but restrained herself. As she was convincing her friend that it will grow back in no time,
and how it is a welcome change because the cut makes her look younger, they heard a loud crash at the door.


Hwang Bo was behind Kyu Rok when he opened the door, she has seen Hyun Joong with a confused look on his face, his cheeks still wet with tears, she has never seen him so vulnerable she wanted to run to him and comfort him.


The three gave out a quizzical look as Hyun Joong scrambled to his feet and run towards his car. He can never stand seeing her
with another man, much more if he was hugging her. He knows he cannot drive back to his home as he is dizzy and nauseated from the turn of events. He needed to call his manager.


'No, I need to resolve this. If I don’t do anything today, then I deserve all these'. Hyun Joong said referring to the stabbing pain he was feeling.


Hyun Joong waited in his car for he wanted to talk to Hwang Bo alone, he has to wait for them to leave.


'What if he is living there? What will I say to her? What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?' He was agonizing with the questions when he sees Kyu rok and Bo ram leave. 'There are two?' He suddenly comprehends the confusion he had earlier.

Hyun joong felt a flow of courage come over him. Poised, he walked towards her home but he cannot bring himself to knock on the door.
He was paralyzed for a few minutes, digging in his thoughts. trying to find the right things to do and the right words to say.

All he knows is that he will accept whatever fate has for him as long as he can convey the love he has for his buin. 'As long as she knows. As long as she permits me to love her.'


It was dawn, as the strength of the waves were beating the rocks on the shore, the chilly wind was piercing through his skin. Hyun Joong bends as he writes on the sand.


~~~~~~~~~~~

Hwang Bo was restless and cannot sleep, she was tossing and turning on her bed. She was confused at her reaction earlier upon seeing Hyun Joong. She has sworn never to allow herself to be an open target to him again. That the sight of him would enrage her and she promised herself to do everything to stay away from him. But why did the sight of him make her heart beat so fast?


'Have I gone really crazy for that one person?' Annoyed and not able to sleep, she stood up to go to her favorite spot of the house, the porch in front of the sea. She loves it for it gives her the view of the stars, and the vastness of the sea. She has been staying there for two years now, but Hwang Bo never fails to marvel at the beauty of the sea, especially during sunrise.


She has equated sunrise with hope and was comforted by the fact that it has always been there for her, giving her the positivity to go on. Why can't it be like the sunrise, faithful and steadfast? As she welcomed the rising of the sun, she saw scribbles over the beach front. The words were familiar to her.


Not to look at other women.
To think of each other's points of view before saying anything.
To spend every holiday/ rest day together.
To not drink alcohol unless it's a special occasion.
To call me at least twice a day.
If you cheat on me, then you'll have to do everything I say.
To respect each other, and to always call me Bu In.


She let out a slight laugh when she noticed the eighth note that she wrote was obviously left out. 'To let each other see their first love, but not to tell anyone that the person was the first love.' He doesn't want me to meet his first love" Nah, he doesn't want to meet mine.

'Aaah, Shillang' She knew who wrote those words and was looking around for him, the one who has turned her world upside down,
who has hurt her so, but still she can never resist him. She was searching for him as she steps down from the porch onto the beach.


She heard a guitar playing and knew it was him. Dahaengida, he was serenading her again, he had been there overnight, unsettled, he wanted to know how she will react to what he had done, hoping that somehow she would open her heart for him again. As Hyun Joong finished the song, Hwang Bo asked why he skipped his part of the contract out.


'I wanted to tell you , it’s all about you, how I will fulfill anything that you want me to. Not what I want, but what you want. Your will, not mine. And then there was silence. Just gazes, one pleading, the other accepting. Hwang Bo never said anything. there were no words spoken but their hearts understood. It was a welcoming warmth, Hyun joong felt like he was home.


Hwang Bo smiled thinking how this kind of man has changed because of her. She held out her hand and Hyun Joong stood up to take it.


~~~~~~~~~~

As they walk towards Hwang Bo’s house, his arm around her, the competition starts again. Hwang Bo was teasing Hyun Joong ,
''You really can't forget me...Now you realize you can never find someone like me... I am the best''...giggling at her own words.


'You don't want anyone but me.. that's why you waited'..Hyun Joong welcomed the competition as he looks at Hwang Bo’s reaction from what he has just said, 'you even change your marrying age just for me... didn't you, buin? you want me that much?'... beaming at his buin. Buin, it's been awhile since he said the treasured word.


''Let me remind you, who always sings Daehengida after every concert? and are those tears in your eyes everytime?'' Hwang Bo retaliated while hitting his arm repeatedly, blushing at the things he has pointed out.


'You can see tears? So it means you watch every time? And intently so. And you just have to content yourself in naming your label Stellar,
a combination of Estella and star. Did it remind you of someone special?' His words were coming out of his mouth ever so sweetly as he glanced every time at Hwang Bo waiting for her reactions.


'Well, I have heard of an actor who always have NGs because he mistakenly calls his leading ladies Hye Jung. Perhaps because he thinks of her the whole day.' She was enjoying this repartee immensely as she muttered, 'Let's see if you can counter that.'


'And how do you explain coming up with the brand Guljo for a formal line of men's clothing?'... Hyun joong countered amazed at how they have kept track of each other. He has missed this a lot,
savoring every smile that he sees on her lips.


''Have you forgotten about the time you tried to act cold in front of the awards night just to win a bet?''


'Acting cold? I was not acting cold, you should be the one who was cold. Aigoo, wearing a dress so bare in its back!' Hyun Joong retorted, 'lucky for you I was not watching tv or it would have been smashed.'


Hwang Bo laughed when a vision of Hyun Joong holding a bat smashing a television crossed her mind and cracked her up.


'Wae? Why are you laughing? That was not a joke, that was honesty!!'


Hwang Bo held on to her neck, remembering how Hyun Joong would not allow her to win. ''Aigoo, and you have to point that out again.''
They were competing again, even right after being back together.


~~~~~~~~~~

Hwang Bo has cooked him breakfast and Hyun Joong was happily devouring everything on the plate, he has missed Hwang Bo’s cooking. His words were almost drowned by Hwang Bo’s laughter as he insisted on planning their wedding.


''Are you sure about this?'' Hyun Joong has not even answered, when Hwang Bo rattled off, he was delighted at how excited his bride is talking about her wedding, ''I want a garden wedding by next year in spring.''


'Next year?' Hyun Joong repeated the words himself, again he was enthralled, enjoying the sight of her.


''There will be lots of flowers, I want a small simple one and then at the end of the ceremony we will let go of butterflies and dragonflies and after that you can get me a star, Would it be okay if i have an additional order of the moon?''

Her plans cut short by Hyun Joong’s shouts, 'Andae! Andae!' Hwang Bo, with a puzzled look faced him,''Why?
You don’t like dragonflies again? You said you'll do everything I want!'' she demanded.

'I have to go to Jupiter to get you a moon if you ordered two.' She laughed at the mature man in front of her turning into a kid again.

''Aren't you tired? Rest, I'll take care of the dishes, have some sleep first.'' as she guides him to the couch.

Hyun Joong silently watched her, amazed at the thought of how magnanimous and forgiving she has been with him.
He is awed by this woman in front of him. After all, he has given her nothing but heartaches, still she never held back in giving him happiness.

All he knows is he will do everything to make it up to her, and he was more than thankful that he is back where he should be. Unknowingly, he was looking at her so intently that Hwang Bo who was about to go to the kitchen stopped to ask, ''Wae?''


"Happy" Hyun joong smiled as he reached out for her hand and drew her close to him on the couch. Hyun Joong was sitting with his legs up, he pulled her to sit in front of him so he could snuggle her from the back.


As she sat down in front of him , Hyun Joong straddled to let his legs enclose hers. Hwangbo felt a surge of current go through her as she felt the wisps of air through his breath onto her nape. And then, he was hugging her so tight she could feel the beating of his heart. Hwang Bo welcomed the warmth the embrace brought her.


They were just enjoying the moment, silent and thankful just being with each other. She was still relishing the moment when Hyun Joong suddenly stood up.

'Just rest and I will do everything needed to be done here.' He said as he almost pushed Hwang Bo towards her bedroom.


Hyun joong had to muster enough restraint as he persuaded Hwang Bo to sleep. She was about to open her mouth to tell him to rest when in one swift motion he was carrying her towards her bed.


He carefully laid Hwangbo down and turned to go back to the kitchen when Hwangbo held onto him. And when he looked back to see why, Hwangbo was crying.


He came down and put her in his arms. 'Don't cry, he whispered, caressing her cheeks as she hugged him tightly. 'Please don't, I can't bear the sight of you crying' he said softly, kissing her tears away. She smiled ever so slightly as he tenderly gazed at her.


"I, I don't want this to end. Just hold me. Please don't go." Her eyes showed how frightened she was for she can't erase the thought of Hyun joong leaving her.

'I will never leave you even if you plead me to,' Hyun joong whispered while looking into her eyes but he knew his words were not enough to assure her.

He kissed her, wanting every kiss to assure her. His lips brushed the delicate lobe of her ear and it made her shiver.

At first slowly,the kiss was almost deliberate, then heightened and spontaneous, his every action increasingly intense. He was breathing heavily as her muffled cries made him aching and wanting her more.

His hands were trembling when he peered away the blouse she had on as she unbuttoned his shirt. His eyes worshipping her as he held her, savoring the tenderness of her body.

As their bodies entwined, Hwang Bo knew that they were one, a moment of breathlessness so intoxicating, she can feel the world spin and Hwangbo was flooded by the overflowing love of this man who gave her the fullness of being a woman.


~~~~~~~~~~

She must have slept for an hour or so when she heard Hyun Joong calling her name, 'Hye Jung! Come out!
I want to walk by the beach.' Hwang Bo was glad to hear his voice erasing her fear of Hyun Joong leaving again.


He had made pizza toasts for both of them and readied some grape juice. 'There, I put yellow peppers in it and I didn’t forget the corn and pineapple.' Hyun Joong proudly presented his creation.


This is what she misses, a few simple words and some teasing and she feels like a high school girl in front of her crush. Her heart flutters at the attention and the things he was doing for her. Eating each toast, there were no words exchanged, just longing gazes and silence. Pregnant with anticipation, she can see how over excited her Hyun Joong is.


'My Hyun Joong', she was amazed at herself of how easy she can say those words now. 'My Hye Jung', Hyun Joong smiled as he said her name. They giggled like kids at the words they just said. Hyun Joong can feel the butterflies in his stomach, at least he was welcoming these butterflies.


He held her by the hand and told her to change because he wanted to show her something. Hwang Bo went out of the bedroom wearing a white flowing dress and a hat to match, pursing her lips, waiting for Hyun joong's approval. His eyes were twinkling with anticipation as he nodded his head in approval. He put his arms around her and escorted her to the door.


As soon as Hyun joong opened the door, cameras were flashing, every reporter was asking about their impending wedding, creating a mild commotion. Dazed, Hwangbo was holding onto Hyun joong as she gave him a questioning look. Hyun Joong gave her a smile so sweet he was almost doing an aegyo.


I told you , I’ll spread rumors.